Category: control-freak

Goals

By Shanna, July 13, 2010 6:00 pm

I think it’s time for me to set a few simple (hopefully) goals to help me focus. As the days tick on I feel like I’m getting too bogged down in the drama of everything that is going on and not accomplishing anything!

1. sleep
I seriously don’t sleep enough. If I could say I’m always productive with my time, then maybe I would excuse the 5 hours maybe I get a night, but really I’m just up, thinking, watching tv, and being useless.

2. find an organization system that works for me
I have more calendars than I know what to do with. I have one’s at home, at work, online, on my email, and in my phone and odds are all of them say something different. I need to find one system that works for me and that I will keep up with because lately I find myself surprised on how quickly things sneak up on me.

3. me time
I keep skipping things that involve personal upkeep i.e. today I was so busy at work I didn’t eat all day and so I skipped burlesque class— that’s two no-no’s! I should learn to stop and eat because it’s counter productive, if I’m starving I’m not going to perform well and thus make work stressful (not good for me or my boss). And by not going to a class I enjoy I’m making my life all work and no play. I’ve missed a total of 4 classes now which thankfully I can make up, but I need to make the time to do it.

4. laundry
This is ridic. I have tons of it and I need to either start doing it myself or lugging it to the cleaners nearby.

5. friends
I need to be better at keeping in touch with the ones I have and appreciating them and maybe getting rid of a few – it’s always better to be surrounded by people you love and love you back.

  • Share/Bookmark

choices

By Shanna, June 22, 2010 10:38 pm

photo by Siti Saad

Choices, changes, decisions, indecision’s – the older I get the more complicated things get and I’m starting think it’s me being a big ol’ drama queen!

I don’t think I like drama, but when things seem too easy, I immediately distrust whatever “it” is cuz nothing, nothing-nada, in life is ever really easy.  I think it’s so easy though to get too caught up in the complexities and in’s and out’s of life that you kinda forget what’s really up –like, um, living life to the fullest!

I read two inspiring things today that really made me stop and think about the up’s and down’s I’ve been experiencing the past several months and while I’m not “cured” I think perspective is always awesome.

The first inspirational post I read today was from my friend and fellow Galavanting Gal Maren Hogan.  In her post today she explains why she decided to transition into a new, full-time gig with Galavanting.  She writes “In order to receive something your hand must be open, not a closed fist, still holding tightly to something that is no longer yours.”  I’ll admit, I read that and cried. I even wrote Maren and told her so. I don’t think I can put into words how much this sentence really hit me, it makes so much sense! omg. Maren is so smart.

The second post is from someone I don’t know but I read her blog occasionally and it had a quote that said “choosing doesn’t limit your choices — it just changes them.”  Again, wow. Just because I make one decision doesn’t mean I won’t be making more decisions again.  Sounds like a no brainer, but I really needed reminding of this.  And if I’m wrong (and it happens, true story), I will just have to pick up my boot-straps and make another decision.  For some reason it always feels like every choice is final….it’s like:

this  -   is  -  the   –  last  -  choice  -  you’ll  -  ever  – make  –  so  -   you  -  better  –  get  -  it  -  right

wow, talk about pressure!

Sure, things come with consequences and reactions and you can never tell how one decision will cause you to make others but let’s face it, if we put the weight of the world on every decision, big or small, then we’re going to be lugging around a lot more than we can handle and should handle.  And really we don’t know what would happen if we didn’t do what we decided  - we just assume we know what would have happen and truth is, we don’t know!  Am I getting a lil existential here? Uhm, maybe a wee, lil bit.

I guess what I’m saying is, I’m less scared than I was a week ago about changes and not knowing what will happen. I’m so happy for the decisions I’ve made cuz they brought me here and now I have more choices and will continue to have more choices to make – just like everyone else in the world.  I’ve been getting too caught up in the intensity of what’s been going on in my world and yes, I still have hopes, I’m always imagining what could/would/will be but I think the fear of not really knowing has subsided.  I don’t think my drama moments or “spaz-outs” are done, in fact I’m sure I’ll have more in my lifetime, but I think I’ll try to reign in my drama and pass the crown off to someone else who wears it better – I’m more of a feathers-in-my-hair kinda girl anyway.

  • Share/Bookmark

voila! life!

By Shanna, April 19, 2010 10:28 am

If we stand still, we watch the world move around us.
If we are moving, we pass by the world.
 

For as much of a planner as I am. I don’t think I’ve ever had a life plan. I know people who list out all these milestones, major life to-do’s on college ruled paper as though all these tasks are a grocery list – to be checked off as they are dropped into a cart.  I feel bad for anyone whose life is so prescribed. Degrees, jobs, love, marriage, kids, houses, lifestyle, and all that jazz shouldn’t be a laundry list of accomplishments and yet I see so many people queue up and subscribe to the recipe of life - a pinch of this, a dash of that, stir, strain, and bake on 375 F for 45 minutes and voila! life! 

I am a control freak. Generally. Yet, I’m feel less control-y lately.  I think I’ve finally realized you can try to control anything, but you can’t control the outcome – you can just control how you handle the outcome.  The concept of balance and a positive attitude is something I’m understanding more.  If you let things get you down, they will. They always will. Guaranteed.  There is something to be said for wearing rose colored glasses while you decide when to stand still and when to move forward…

perspective is everything.
and nothing at the same time.
  • Share/Bookmark

true story

By Shanna, April 9, 2010 6:56 am

  • Share/Bookmark

Disclaimer

By Shanna, February 23, 2010 7:10 pm

This site (not just this blog post) is the my personal opinion and is not the opinion of my employers, friends, lovers (ex or otherwise), or even my mom.  In fact, my mom would probably disagree with most everything I have to say but that’s kinda my point.

I do what I want.
Because I’m an adult.
and I can.

As a child I heard stuff like “behave yourself so you don’t embarrass the family” (or something like that) and anyone who has been around kids, or has kids, knows that kids do weird stuff, are funny, strangely intuitive, and sometimes creepy and that doesn’t mean their parents necessarily had anything to do with it – kids are kids. When I come across a weird kid, I think that kid is weird, not that kid’s parents are weird.

Of course there are consequences to our actions. I put something out there and of course it can be well-received or not. A few weeks ago I posted a review on yelp.  I’m forced by yelp to set up a profile and I can choose how much information I disclose but really unless you know me, all you see from this profile (assuming I wasn’t lying) is that 1) my name is Shanna Q, 2) I’m in Chicago, 3) I’ve yelped since Dec 08 (but only one review), 4) I like traveling. Done, that’s it.  I posted the review because I thought the company deserved a review – they were awesome! In the review, I mentioned that there are other companies in the area that provide a similar service…in my original review I called those unnamed companies jerks, but I purposely did not name the company I worked for or even name the “other companies” – however, the owner of one of the other companies I dealt with called me. Angry. Called my review slanderous and wanted me to call him back and to professionally engage him regarding the matter rather than have an internet argument and a PR mess.

Can something be slanderous if no-specific person/object/whatever is identified?

He just assumed it was about him. And maybe it was. And maybe it wasn’t. I could have called a dozen companies. But he obviously felt it was directed at him and as such requested I remove the “slanderous” wording. What I put out there is what I’m deciding to put out there, my creditability and how “you” perceive  me, I only have so much control over.  I could disclose my interactions with said angry guy, but I’m not. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have to prove to anyone what I said was right -  I said what I said then because I was providing my honest review and I have to accept that once it’s out there people can do with it what they will…that guy happens to be upset.

and then

I reviewed a social media policy recently enacted by a company. I was surprised by the policy because I assumed a company social media policy should address a few items:

  1. sites employees can / can’t access during business hours
  2. a guideline on how to get company-branded accounts approved
  3. a guideline on how an employee should conduct him/her self on a company-branded accounts
  4. a procedure on handling issues with employee conduct on company-branded accounts

There are other things, but that’s the jist. But this particular policy doesn’t make a distinction between the person-at-home as opposed to the person-at-work — there is a difference.  Any company can dictate how an employee spends company time, but when a company starts telling employees how they should conduct themselves off work hours…eekkk that makes me nervous.  I get it, if you’re an at-will-employee anything you do is grounds for firing (basically) but that’s a risk everyone takes no matter what.  Work can’t tell any employee outside of the business-related functions – just as an employee shouldn’t bring their own personal philosophies into the work space.  I think any company that expects employees to “be the brand” on off work time or online doesn’t have appropriate boundaries set up – For example should work review an employee’s online dating profile to make sure it’s inline with company philosophies? Sounds silly doesn’t it?

The yelp-upset and this social media policy has  brought to light something that I’ve thought a lot about recently  - censorship.  Review sites, social media, and this blog even, seem to be spaces where I should feel free to say whatever I want, but I don’t – I censor myself a lot because I understand it has a ripple affect.  I may hate that I have to edit my opinion so as to be as even-keeled as possible, but it is a reality.  I chose the words in my yelp review very carefully because my goal was to give a positive review to one company, not hurt another.  I am careful about what I write in my blog, or on my personal social media accounts about my jobs or personal life because the reality is what I say reaches a broader audience than I may be aware of and I want to be viewed by my jobs/friends/family/the world as intelligent, savvy, industrious, and worth-it (amongst other things). I chose how I represent myself online and in daily life very carefully because I have goals I want to achieve. But I choose on my off-hours, not anyone else.

I choose to censor myself because I am my own brand.

And just like a kid being weird doesn’t mean the parents are incapable –my personal behavior in my personal life is just that mine. Not who I work for, not my friends, who I’ve slept with, and not my mom’s. How they choose to perceive me, it their deal, not mine.

Interesting to note, that Yelp is currently being sued but that’s just an FYI.

  • Share/Bookmark

Panorama Theme by Themocracy