Category: life

choices

By Shanna, June 22, 2010 10:38 pm

photo by Siti Saad

Choices, changes, decisions, indecision’s – the older I get the more complicated things get and I’m starting think it’s me being a big ol’ drama queen!

I don’t think I like drama, but when things seem too easy, I immediately distrust whatever “it” is cuz nothing, nothing-nada, in life is ever really easy.  I think it’s so easy though to get too caught up in the complexities and in’s and out’s of life that you kinda forget what’s really up –like, um, living life to the fullest!

I read two inspiring things today that really made me stop and think about the up’s and down’s I’ve been experiencing the past several months and while I’m not “cured” I think perspective is always awesome.

The first inspirational post I read today was from my friend and fellow Galavanting Gal Maren Hogan.  In her post today she explains why she decided to transition into a new, full-time gig with Galavanting.  She writes “In order to receive something your hand must be open, not a closed fist, still holding tightly to something that is no longer yours.”  I’ll admit, I read that and cried. I even wrote Maren and told her so. I don’t think I can put into words how much this sentence really hit me, it makes so much sense! omg. Maren is so smart.

The second post is from someone I don’t know but I read her blog occasionally and it had a quote that said “choosing doesn’t limit your choices — it just changes them.”  Again, wow. Just because I make one decision doesn’t mean I won’t be making more decisions again.  Sounds like a no brainer, but I really needed reminding of this.  And if I’m wrong (and it happens, true story), I will just have to pick up my boot-straps and make another decision.  For some reason it always feels like every choice is final….it’s like:

this  -   is  -  the   –  last  -  choice  -  you’ll  -  ever  – make  –  so  -   you  -  better  –  get  -  it  -  right

wow, talk about pressure!

Sure, things come with consequences and reactions and you can never tell how one decision will cause you to make others but let’s face it, if we put the weight of the world on every decision, big or small, then we’re going to be lugging around a lot more than we can handle and should handle.  And really we don’t know what would happen if we didn’t do what we decided  - we just assume we know what would have happen and truth is, we don’t know!  Am I getting a lil existential here? Uhm, maybe a wee, lil bit.

I guess what I’m saying is, I’m less scared than I was a week ago about changes and not knowing what will happen. I’m so happy for the decisions I’ve made cuz they brought me here and now I have more choices and will continue to have more choices to make – just like everyone else in the world.  I’ve been getting too caught up in the intensity of what’s been going on in my world and yes, I still have hopes, I’m always imagining what could/would/will be but I think the fear of not really knowing has subsided.  I don’t think my drama moments or “spaz-outs” are done, in fact I’m sure I’ll have more in my lifetime, but I think I’ll try to reign in my drama and pass the crown off to someone else who wears it better – I’m more of a feathers-in-my-hair kinda girl anyway.

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maybe

By Shanna, June 1, 2010 11:02 pm

I don’t wanna be the one to say, “Goodbye”
But I will, I will, I will
I don’t wanna sit on the pavement while you fly
But I will, I will
Oh, yes, I will

‘Cause maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back around
Maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back
Oh, the only way to really know is to really let it go
Maybe you’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back to me

I don’t wanna be the first to let it go
Oh, but I know, I know, I know
If you have the last hands that I want to hold
Then I know I’ve got to let them go

‘Cause maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back around
Maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back
Oh, the only way to really know is to really let it go
Maybe you’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back

I still feel you on the right side of the bed
And I still feel you in the blankets pulled over my head
And I’m gonna wash away (I’m gonna wash away)
Oh, I’m gonna wash away everthing ’til you come home to me

Maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back in the future
You’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back

Maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back around
Maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back
Oh, the only way to really know is to really let it go

Maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back
(You’re gonna come back)
You’re gonna come back around
Maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back
(You’re gonna come back)
You’re gonna come back around
Oh, the only way to really know is to really let it go
(Maybe in the future, you’re gonna come back)
(You’re gonna come back around)
Maybe you’re gonna come back
(You’re gonna come back)
You’re gonna come back
You’re gonna come back to me

Mmmm
You’re gonna come back to me
You’re gonna come back to me

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sigh

By Shanna, June 1, 2010 12:15 am

Back before my dad was diagnosed with cancer, the words cancer and dying weren’t in my vocabulary.  But since he died after his year-long battle (7 1/2 years ago), I seem to jump to cancer and dying with every health drama, little or big.

A few weeks ago my mom called and told me she had a mammogram that showed a lump in her breast and that she had to go in for a biopsy. The doctor called on Thursday to confirm she indeed has breast cancer.

photo by Gi

I have a lot of thoughts racing through my brain but I keep reminding myself how far breast cancer research and treatment has come plus my mom hasn’t seen her doctor yet to discuss her treatment so while cancer is never a great diagnosis, I’m hoping it’s been caught super early.

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stage: being quiet

By Shanna, May 26, 2010 12:55 pm


 
 

“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.”

 
 

Followed my heart: check

 
 

Followed my heart but was quiet first: fail

 
 

Trying to be quiet…

 
 

but it’s hard when you’re all I think about.

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Busy Bee

By Shanna, May 2, 2010 9:45 pm

I understand the importance of chilling out and taking time for myself…as long as I have one day that’s obligation free, I’m a pretty happy lady. I like to take on challenges and prove I can do it! A few weeks ago I took on a new challenge…a freelance position working with the social media efforts of a PR company. This job on top of my full time day job and Galavanting and Gaperblock means, yep, I’m freaking busy! One top of that I’ve signed up for another burlesque class and recently won a raffle that includes: 3 months worth of martial art classes, 5 free yoga classes, summer-time gym membership, rocking climbing class, and a boxing class….now I think this means by the end of the summer I will be one tiny busy bee! phew. Funny how a raffle can bring so much change in your life! I’ve always wanted to do the rock climbing and I’ve wanted to learn self-defence – amazing how my “want-to-do” list is becoming a “done-that” list!

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